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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015718">If only you say you’re mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iovestories/pseuds/iovestories'>iovestories</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Just a little angst, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:34:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,207</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27015718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iovestories/pseuds/iovestories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sharing a bed isn’t romantic, is it?”</p><p>“Of course not” Marlene tells herself “friends do it all the time, it’s a best friends thing, sharing a bed, late night conversations, cuddling, it’s all normal, no need to worry”</p><p>Except, in their case, there’s nothing friendly about it and the two girls who have been in love with each other for years are about to find out that their love is far from unrequited.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If only you say you’re mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Firstly this is the first time I’m writing an one shot so it turned out a little bit longer than expected and  I’m sorry about that.</p><p>Secondly dorlene is one of my fav ships of all time, I love those girls so much and they deserve so much more appreciation for they are the cutest, and I hope I did them justice.</p><p>Last but not least, I would like to thank my friends Sof and Eesha for helping me out with this &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sharing a bed isn’t romantic, is it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course not,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Marlene tells herself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends do it all the time, right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s a best friends thing, sharing a bed, late night conversations, cuddling, its normal, everyone does that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not romantic, it doesn’t make us a couple, we’re just friends </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, friends, that’s what we are.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s not sure where this is all coming from, she and Dorcas have been doing this for years, she’s pretty sure she has slept more times in her friend’s bed than on her own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all started in first year, November, Marlene was having a nightmare, one of her recurrent ones, about the day she almost drowned on the lake near her house. She must have screamed or something for she was woken up by someone calling her name and shaking her shoulders, when she opened her eyes, Dorcas was there, practically hovering over her, her face pale with concern and fear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas calmed her down, she didn’t ask what the nightmare was about, which Marlene was thankful for since she didn’t really feel comfortable talking about that day - at least back then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later she learned that Dorcas’ sister, Ava, has nightmares frequently and Dorcas was always the one to calm her down. It was something that she was used to, and very good at.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the beginning, the two Gryffindors would only share a bed when one of them wasn’t feeling well, but, with time, it became normal, and now, five years later, they rarely sleep alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other girls, Lily and Alice, never say anything, it’s like there's a mutual understatement not to talk about it, even though they’ve never discussed the matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe that is why this never bothered Marlene, if no one cared, why should she?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But things are different now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She blames Emmeline, she was the one who told her that friends don’t share a bed that often, that it was romantic, intimate, and only couples do such thing. But she can’t deny that, deep down, part of her always thought that there was something more between her and Dorcas. She thought that maybe it was because they are best friends, but she’s also best friends with Lily and Mary, and she doesn’t feel the same way about them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas is special, she’s different, she makes Marlene jealous whenever someone is hitting on her and her stomach does what feels like acrobatics when Dorcas enters the room, she counts the hours, the seconds to see her and gets upset when she frowns, she blushes when Dorcas calls her beautiful and holds her breath when they’re too close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas makes her feel things she had never felt before, she makes her happy, she makes her feel alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yeah, Marlene thought about kissing her, more than once, sometimes she spends hours wondering what would happen if she did, would Dorcas kiss her back? Or would she push her away?  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nah, it’s not worth the risk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except it’s eating Marlene alive, every time they are alone the thought crosses her mind, every now and then she catches herself glancing at Dorcas lips and she just </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't</span>
  </em>
  <span> take it anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you still awake?” Dorcas’ sleepy voice asks and Marlene takes her eyes off the ceiling she’s been staring at for hours to look at her friend, who’s laying next to her, her face illuminated by the moonlight </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m just thinking” Marlene says, quietly not to wake the others</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About…?” She leaves the question hanging in the air above them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Liar”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene sighs, shifting to her side so she can face her friend </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do we always share a bed?” She questions after a pause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know” Dorcas replies, shrugging “I like sleeping next to you, it’s… comforting”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene simply stares back at her. Comforting? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is she Dorcas’ emotional support witch or something?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just…” she sighs and looks away “nevermind”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marls” the other girl nudges her “what is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene bites her lip, is she really ready to go there? To ask her that? It’s risky, too risky, but there’s nothing else she can say, no excuses she can use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are we?” She blurts out before she can change her mind</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas looks surprised, her eyes slightly widen like they do when she’s caught with her guard down but doesn’t want it to seem like it and she purses her lips in a fine line. Marlene can tell she’s deep in thought just by the look on her face, she has no idea what to say, which is very unusual for Dorcas - who normally has the fastest and best responses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re, umm, friends” she mumbles “best friends”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just that?” Marlene asks, not satisfied by her answer </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, just friends” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can we go to sleep now?” Dorcas cuts her off, a little to rashly and she flinches</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t wait for Marlene’s reaction before turning away from her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, that was bloody fantastic </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-x-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas avoids Marlene for the rest of the week. She doesn’t talk to her in class and sits far away from her during the meals, she leaves the dorm room early in the morning, when Marlene is still asleep, and comes back as late as possible to avert finding her friend still awake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tries to be as subtle as she can, but her change of behavior does not pass unnoticed by her roommates.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On Tuesday, before potions, Lily cornered Marlene on the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on between you and Dorcas?” She asked</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing” Marlene replied, evasively, and tried to walk away from her, which only lead to Lily following her through the hallway </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re lying” the redhead said, almost bumping into a Ravenclaw that came their way “you two are barely talking, did something happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’re just taking a break, isn’t that allowed?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not for you two” Lily hurried up to keep up with Marlene, who had sped up to get away from her friend “you girls have been glued to each other since first year, it’s like you can’t breathe without the other and now you won’t even look at each other? Something is not right”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene didn’t answer that, don’t get me wrong, she loves Lily, but she doesn’t think she would understand. The only person Lily has ever loved, like really loved, is James, and, not only that feeling was mutual, but it was pretty clear since the beginning, she didn’t have to spend hours awake wondering if he liked her in the same way she liked him - he told her, like, five times a day. Besides, James is a boy, he “has” to like girls - thanks to society homophobic culture and normalized heterosexuality - so Lily didn’t have to worry about that either, unlike Marlene, who had to look for signs everywhere to find out with Dorcas liked girls too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently Lily wasn’t satisfied with their conversation because on Wednesday, when Marlene was watching the Gryffindor’s quidditch team practice, Remus showed up and sat next to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dirty trick Lily,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thought to herself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone knows that I can’t lie to Remus</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey there” he greeted “how’s the practice”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lily sent you didn’t she?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, you caught me” he raised his hands and she rolled her eyes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s worried about you, you know” he went on “she afraid something bad happened between you and Dorcas”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing wrong” Marlene said, pretending to be watching the practice </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure about that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed, heavily, and shook her head, what’s the point of lying to him anyway? He can always tell when she’s lying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I like her, I know that, actually” she admitted, turning to look at him “as in</span>
  <em>
    <span> more than friends” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Remus nodded “and I tried to talk about it but I think I scared her away, and now she won’t talk to me”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stayed in silence for a moment, it was the first time Marlene had said it out loud, that she liked Dorcas, she let that sink in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Remus broke the silence “when I first found out I liked Sirius, I was pretty scared, specially because of his </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘fame’</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he continued “I thought he could never like me back, not when he had all those girls who would do anything for him, I would spend nights awake thinking about it, if he felt the same way, or if he even liked boys” he went on “it took me three years to gather up enough strength to talk to him, and when I did, I found out that he was going through the same thing”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see the way Dorcas looks at you” he said “it’s the same way Sirius looks at me, she likes you, Marls, and she's probably avoiding you just because she’s scared” he paused “you should talk to her, tell her how you feel, get it out of your chest, ‘cause if you don’t, it’s gonna kill you”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah” Marlene let out with a sigh “you’re right”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like always” he winked and she punched his arm playfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene spent the rest of the afternoon watching the team - more specifically Dorcas- train. The girl was amazing, one of the best players she’d ever seen, she was fast and scored more goals than anyone else on the team, she was incredibly talented and Marlene was sure she could easily become a professional player.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Besides, she looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> hot on that uniform.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-x-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene doesn’t usually smoak, only when she’s under stress, like today. She got the bad habit from Remus - the bastard started to bring cigarettes from home every summer and give them to his friends. She didn’t like it at first, it tasted weird, but she got used to it, and it helped her relax.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Those going to kill you one day, you know that right?” A familiar voice speaks</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene turns around and finds Dorcas standing by the door of the greenhouse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You ignored me for one week and that’s what you got to say? That cigarettes are going to kill me? Are you planning on becoming a doctor or something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dorcas sighs and looks down, frowning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene watches as she comes closer and sits next to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have ignored you” she says, quietly “I just…. “ she sighs “I was scared”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I think about us I-“ Dorcas pauses “I don’t think of us just as friends, you’re more than that” she goes on “but I don’t know what to do with this, with this feelings, it’s all new to me, I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my entire life and… and it’s scary” she continues “and then you asked me about it and I freaked out, I thought that you had somehow found out and…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She trails off and they stay in silence for a moment, under the moonlight, surrounded by smoak from Marlene’s cigarette.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed you” Dorcas says, eventually “more than I thought it was humanly possible, I mean, everytime something funny happened I would want to tell you all about it, but I couldn’t, and at night I would miss your warmth next to me” she goes on “I barely slept, all I could think about was you, your bright green eyes, your smile, your freckles-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene cuts her off with a kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was brief, just a brush of their lips, and for a short, bloody terrifying , moment they just stay there, staring at each other before Dorcas pulls her in for a kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It is everything Marlene could imagine and more, it is sweet, passionate, like they were in one of those romance movies she secretly loves. It is overwhelming, Dorcas smells like daisies, her lips taste like caramel and Marlene can’t get enough of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She runs her hand through Dorcas’ curly hair and the other girl grabs her waist and pulls her closer until she’s practically sitting on her lap, she feels like she’s drowning, losing herself in Dorcas’ embrace, she melts in the kisses and it’s perfect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect, they’re perfect.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-x-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Marlene wakes up next to Dorcas the next morning, it feels different. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not only because they’re not wearing their pajamas, or because her head is resting on the other girls chest and their legs are intertwined, but because, for the first time, Dorcas knows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knows how Marlene feels about her, and there’s no need to worry about it because she feels the same, it’s not unrequited love anymore, it’s just… love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, love.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She loves Dorcas, every single inch of her, even her flaws - though she doesn’t have many. She loves her smile and her laugh, her hazel eyes that shine so beautifully under the sunlight and her soft lips that she can now kiss. She loves how clever she is, how sassy, she loves her funny jokes and how her eyes glow when she’s talking about something she likes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But most of all, she loves this. Being with her, whether it is alone or not, just her presence makes Marlene happier than she’d ever been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you” Marlene whispers </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good” Dorcas says and kisses her forehead “because I love you too”</span>
</p><p><br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That’s it, I hope you liked it :)<br/>Find me on Instagram @luvhizzie &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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